Burberry Prorsum Is The New Candy

I wanted to lick every bag, pair of shoes, and trench coat in the Spring 2013 Burberry Prorsum collection. The clothing conjured up images in my mind of the hard candy you suck on until your jaw goes sore and tongue has changed colours. The only thing is, Burberry isn't quite as accessible as hard candy, so I will never actually be able to act on my fashion fantasies. If all it took was a bit of sucking to own Burberry, the female population at Ball State would be much more well dressed.

The C.E.O. of Burberry, Angela Ahrendts, graduated from the university I am currently attending; as if this gives me a special bond with Angela, I do feel a special connection to the Burberry brand.

My master life plan is to run into Angela one day on campus. I will be casually buttoning my knee-length trench coat as my stiletto heels click against the linoleum floor of the David Letterman building when our paths collide. She will instantly fall in love with my charisma and engorged stained-red lips. By the end of our encounter, she will have offered me a job as her assistant. Until then, I will continue to tripping up the stairs of the David Letterman building in my combat boots and faux-fur coat from Goodwill.

Sidenote, I have a fully scripted marriage proposal for any man wearing this ensemble. Hell, if you are a butch female clad in these clothes I am not going to say no.